When I was growing up, I always thought it was selfish or wrong to like myself. I confused being humble with downplaying or depreciating my talents and gifts, and thought it was bragging or conceited if I said I was good at something. I was constantly telling myself I wasn’t smart enough, or others were way better than me. To me and my grade school friends, being conceited was the worst thing you could be. I was constantly picking myself apart at a young age, and it didn’t get any better as I got older.
This narrative stuck with me through my college years, and through my professional years, up until I started diving into personal development. Everywhere we look we are constantly being told we’re not good enough, whether it’s from the media, a terrible boss/coworker/acquaintance, or the mean voice in our head.
It had taken me years to get past this idea of not wanting to be seen as conceited, and to know that I am enough just as I am. And I’ll admit, some days there is a struggle to recognize that little voice trying to wear me down and tell it to fuck off. I have to nip it in the bud right away or it can easily spiral out of control.
Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life, is one of the first personal development books I read that helped me realize that loving yourself is not selfish, conceited or bad. It’s actually necessary to live a happy and fulfilled life. It will help you in your relationships and business or career. And it can have a huge impact on your mental and physical health.
Now when those inner mean voices rear their heads, I take a minute to reflect and ask myself where they are coming from. Is it because of a desire I have for something that seems really big to achieve? Is it because I’m in a place of growth and about to try something new? Am I getting into comparison and need to remind myself that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be?
And then I calmly remind myself that I am enough. I am smart enough, good enough, pretty enough, successful enough….
I find 3 things that I love about myself and remind myself over and over until those voices go away.
What do you do when your inner mean voice is telling you you’re not enough? Share with me 1 thing that you love about yourself in the comments below that you can remind yourself next time it shows up in your head.