The Top 5 Things That Are Holding You Back From Your Dream

You have a dream, a big dream, that seems so overwhelming and scary to go after, but you can’t stop thinking about it. But you feel stuck in where you are right now, and you don’t know why. I’ve been there, girl! I know what it’s like to want big things but not know how to get there. Here are the top 5 reasons why you’re not moving towards doing what you want to do.

1. Worry Over Other people’s opinions. You spend too much time worrying about what other people are going to think. What will they say, will they think I'm stupid, crazy, not good enough to actually do this thing I want to do? Listen up, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of you and what you want to do. The only opinion that matters is your own. Don’t let other people’s opinions be in charge of your dreams, you are the creator of your life so you might as well make it as good as you can. My wise therapist used to say “it’s none of your business what other people think of you”. And once she said that, it was such a relief to me. People are going to have their opinions and that’s all it is, their thoughts. It’s not the truth. Your thoughts are your truth.

2. You don’t have time. Listen, we’re all busy. We have families, children, busy social lives, maybe multiple jobs, or long hours at a job. I heard somewhere that we all have the same 24 hours in a day as Beyonce, and look at what she’s done! You get to decide how you use your time. Maybe some things you can’t change, like the hours you spend working, or taking care of your kids. But where in your life are you using your time on things that aren’t serving you? Are you spending mindless minutes/hours scrolling on social media? Are you addicted to watching hours of bad reality tv? What if you committed to spending 30 minutes, 1 hour, 2 hours a day on making steps towards your dream? Turn off your tv, put your phone on do not disturb, and set a timer, and just see what you can accomplish!

3. Fear. You’re afraid to do something new. You’re afraid of failure, you’re afraid it will take too long, cost too much… or maybe you’re afraid it will be successful, and then what will happen? Will your closest peeps still like you, or will they feel threatened? Will you have less time for yourself or your family if you become too successful? Fear is never going to go away, it will always be there. It’s how you manage it that you can control. Don’t let fear sit in the driver’s seat of your life (as Elizabeth Gilbert likes to say). You can acknowledge your fear, know that it’s there as a defense mechanism to keep you safe, and then put it aside and focus on the possibilities of achieving your dream. What if it does work?! How great would that be!

4. You don’t believe in yourself. This is a big one. Maybe you don’t believe you can do it. Maybe you don’t believe you’re smart enough, brave enough, resourceful enough, good enough…. Take a deep breath. You can do this. Where are these beliefs coming from? Is it from an event in your childhood, or younger years that made you think you can’t achieve your goals? Did you fail at something in the past so you told yourself you’ll never be able to do something big again? These are just stories that you keep telling yourself, and not your truth. How can you retell these stories so that they empower you instead of hold you down? What if you started believing in yourself for something small, like doing the first step towards your dream. And then once you accomplished that, you move on to the second step and believe you can do that. And then the third step. And before you know it, you’re on your way to believing you can do the whole fucking thing!

5. You don’t believe you deserve it. Tony Robbins says there are 2 universal fears that everyone has, and all fears boil down to these 2 fears: the fear you aren’t enough, and the fear of not being loved. When I heard that, I was flabbergasted! Those were the 2 things I feared the most, and to know that everyone else had those same fears somehow made me feel less alone. You deserve it because you are an amazing human being, and you are worthy of being loved and having everything you desire. One of my dear mentors likes to say, if God/Universe/Spirit didn’t want you to have it, she wouldn't have given you the desire in your heart for it. This brings me comfort when I think about the dreams and goals I have, and anytime I feel like I don’t deserve it I remember this and go back to my reason why I want it.

Just remember I’m here for you girl, when you need support, a pep talk, or a cheerleader in your corner. You got this!

I’d love for you to share with me in the comments below what’s been holding you back from going after your dream, and what are you going to do about it now.



Are You a Jill of All Trades and Mistress of None?

Or are you a Mistress of Everything your heart desires you to do?

Someone once told me I shouldn’t have too many offerings or services on my website because I would be seen as a “jack of all trades, master of none”. At the time it kinda hurt: I was still doing makeup and hair, building my photography business, and wanting to launch my life coaching services to compliment my photography sessions. For me, they all go together, because ultimately they are about supporting women look and feel amazing, and gain confidence in themselves to live their best life. But to be told that no one would take me seriously because it looked like I wasn’t truly a master at any of them stung.

But here’s the deal: you can be multi-passionate and good at many things. I’ve been doing makeup and hair for 10 years now, and I feel like I can do it in my sleep. I love creating beautiful images that draw out who a woman is and helping her feel beautiful and expressed, and I’ve spent years being on shoots learning from other photographers, taking workshops and courses to learn how to better my art, and practicing whenever I could to increase my skills and my eye. And I’m a great coach- it comes naturally to me, I’ve invested tens of thousands of dollars in my own personal development and training and helped women get clarity on their desires and feel confident and worthy of who they are.

And yes, maybe it makes sense business wise to focus on building one thing at a time. But if you have the desire to have multiple offerings, or do different things for your business, I feel you should listen to your heart. One of my wise mentors always says “God/Universe/Spirit wouldn’t give you those desires if you weren’t meant to make them come true”.

It would be like telling Dave Grohl to stick to the drums, Jessica Alba to keep to acting, or Lady Gaga to just stick to singing (I’m sure you can think of other amazing people that are super talented at multiple things, but these are just a few that come to mind).

It would be easy to feel like I couldn’t do everything I want and desire because of someone else’s opinion, and to stay stuck in my fears. Don’t listen to other people when they have an opinion about your dreams. The only opinion that matters is your own. You get to create the business and the life that you dream of. 

While writing this post I thought more on why this comment bothered me so much. And the truth is it’s because I was scared. I was scared to try something new, because what if I failed? What if no one hired me? And what if everyone thought I was flaky because I couldn’t stick to one thing?

If I had the confidence in myself and my abilities back then, I would’ve brushed the comment off. I wouldn’t have given it a second thought. But now I know that I can be (and am!) talented in many areas, and that if I can’t stop thinking about what I want my business to look like, then I have the ability to make it happen. I’ve learned how to quiet my fears, and focus on what I want and how I’m going to get there.

What are you longing to do, that you are afraid to try? Is it starting a new business, offering a new service to your existing business, learning a new skill? Maybe it’s putting yourself out there on social media, or saying the thing that you’re afraid to say. Whatever it is, I’d love to help you clear your fears and gain the confidence to go after your dreams and desires.

Sign up a free clarity and confidence session with me. We’ll identify what is keeping you in fear, how to eliminate it, and what to do next to achieve the life you dream of. You can sign up HERE: Clarity and Confidence Session with Melissa.

I can’t wait to help you move towards a life you love!



P.S. Tell me, are you a master of one thing, or a master of several things? I want to hear what you’re good at in the comments below.